Cast:Tusshar Kapoor, Ayesha Takia,Kareena KapoorDirection:Lovely SinghProduction:N.R. PachisiaMusic:Pritam
“Time heals all wounds” is the abstruse advice offered to the lovelorn hero in this unlovely love triangle (translated as What a love story), set entirely in the NRI (‘Non Resident Indian’) world of Cape Town, South Africa.
Shy Arjun (Tusshar Kapoor) falls instantly in love with Kaajal (Ayesha Takia), a busty schoolgirl with more spots than books. They become ‘best friends’ but when Kaajal tells Arjun that “there is no love without respect”, he disappears to Mumbai in order to make something of himself.
Kaajal subsequently meets mamma’s boy Ranveer (Karan Hukku), who promptly proposes to her as he deems her to be a suitable trophy bahu (daughter-in-law). Surprise! It is at this point that Arjun re-enters the scene. Will Kaajal realise who is the more worthy suitor?
Why Kaajal would be interested in either of these dimwits remains a mystery since they appear to be preoccupied. Arjun, who has a fondness for wearing floral shirts, hangs out constantly with his mates whilst the only meaningful relationship Ranveer appears to be interested in is with his mobile phone.
First time director Lovely Singh’s film is incoherent with characters with sequences being introduced at whim. One such example occurs when the workaholic Ranveer, driving to a business meeting, decides to be spontaneous and take a day off. He turns his car around on the highway in order to rush back towards his lonely girlfriend but he then stops to pick up a male hitch-hiker!
Equally disgraceful is the director’s insistence on including a totally irrelevant running gag involving two geeks who are attempting to pick up blonde babes. We are supposed to laugh at two grown men sleeping with female blow-up dolls, being shagged by dogs, chatting up a granny and receiving mouth to mouth resuscitation from a man. There is also a vertically challenged black South African with a weak bladder, who is inexplicably fluent in Hindi.
All three leads need to know that going to the gym, wearing Indian designer clothes and sprouting shiny lips do not equate to acting. They are not helped by a puerile script which is swamped with ‘Mills and Boon’-style dialogues like ‘whatever happens is for the best’, ‘if you truly love her you must be happy in her happiness’ and ‘listen to your heart’.
The only respite in the proceedings is a spicy dance number by the sizzling Kareena Kapoor who rocks. But Singh misjudges the placement of this item song: he includes it immediately after the opening titles. As such, only connoisseurs of utter bolly-poppycock will be inclined to linger on until the final credits.